Poor Sofer Boyfriend. Visiting for Shabbat (the bread turned out SO perfect, my goodness; I'd give you the recipe if I could, but it was rather along the lines of "chuck a bit more flour in...hmm...yeah...bit more...okay, that feels about right - do they look baked yet? GO POPPY SEEDS)...
...anyway, visiting for Shabbat, and afflicted by Horrible Allergies, red eyes, sneezing - I mean, I knew he got sick whenever he left Manhattan, but this is Riverdale, it's practically Manhattan, and anyway he's been here before...
...anyway, we decided he must be allergic to the cats; lots of people have cat allergies.
Course, I don't have cats, but when did that stop us? The solution was obviously to get rid of the cats. So (after Boyfriend had gone off to Steven's, where he was sleeping), I opened the window (the door had been open all evening, as it is whenever Boyfriend is here; perhaps that is how the cats got in?), and after a while the cats must have left, because at some point there were certainly no cats in the apartment.
I think the cats must have gone down onto the fire escape and had a furniture-building party, because Mr Downstairs was afflicted by banging and hammering in the middle of the night. He let me know about this in no uncertain fashion this morning, which is how I know. The flaw in this line of reasoning is that there is no furniture on the fire-escape this morning.
Poor Sofer Boyfriend was also afflicted at Steven's, though. Steven theoretically doesn't have cats either, so perhaps the cats from the fire escape went and visited Steven after they were done waking up Mr Downstairs.
This all leaves poor Boyfriend with an Ambiguous Allergy, thus - we have used logic and reasoning to diagnose a Fantastical Cat Allergy. That is to say, a (Fantastical Cat) Allergy, not a Fantastical (Cat Allergy). He will have to remember to take quantities of parentheses around with him, as well as Benadryl.