VERY CLEAN HOUSE

[hatam_soferet]

UD's mum is coming to visit tomorrow, so we've cleaned the house to within an inch of its life. We've even put up the shelves and the pictures we've been meaning to hang since forever. I've scrubbed the bathroom and mopped the floors and even wiped the skirting boards, that's how thorough I've been.

Last thing before bed, Uri David takes Waan for a walk in the park.

And comes back with a dog who's had a LOVELY TIME rolling in a pile of poo. Human poo. Thing about human poo is that there's generally LOTS OF IT.

Seems that when the dog goes up the stairs, her chest brushes the edges of the steps. GUESS HOW I KNOW THAT.

After scrubbing the stairs with bleach, I go into the bathroom, where dog-washing is in progress.

Now, when the dog gets wet, she does shakey-shake to get less wet.

Uri David, being less experienced in the ways of Bad Dogs, is not anticipating that the dog will do shakey-shake when she's covered in a solution of shampoo and shit.

So the shit spatters

all over the tub (my nice clean tub!)

all over the tile surround (my sparkly tiles!)

all over the walls above the tile surround (high up!)

all over the floor (I JUST mopped that!)

and all over Uri David.

She covered herself so well that it takes two of us to get her clean, one holding her still and the other scrubbing and rinsing her with the Dirty Dog Jug.

Then I clean the bathroom while Uri David is in the shower. Waan stands on the bathmat looking sorry for herself.

Now she is clean and fluffy ready to meet UD's mum, who must NEVER KNOW the dog's more disgusting habits or she will NEVER COME AGAIN.