hatam_soferet (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hatam_soferet) wrote2004-01-25 05:28 pm
hatam_soferet) wrote2004-01-25 05:28 pm
(no subject)
I didn't make it to the end of the Ein Gedi trip.
It's very pretty, by the way, and the Dead Sea was stunning, the mountains on the other side rising up out of the clouds.
First thing they did was Set Boundaries. "This is a safe space," they said. That means no making people uncomfortable. That's cool. Then they said "If you don't participate, one person can ruin the group dynamic, so no smartass comments." Okay, I'm prepared to keep back my usual commentary, and try to make a go of this. Then they said "Some things you may not be comfortable with. If you're not comfortable, fake it."
This gave me the message "If you can't do this, we don't want you here, so you'd better pretend to be someone else, because you're not welcome".
And it was very, very touchy-feely. Unfortunately, this is not the kind of thing I can do genuinely without a lot of support. And there wasn't any support, only the Boundary that I'd better not let on that I wasn't part of the group dynamic, and I'd better fake it so as not to spoil it for everyone else. Unfortunately, this is the kind of thing I don't know how to fake, except in a noticeably cynical way.
So by lunchtime I'd well and truly got the message that I wasn't part of the community, and since I a) wasn't capable of faking it and b) didn't see the point ot doing a community-building exercise whilst pretending to be someone else anyway, I came home on the next car that left. To be fair, I don't think they meant to give that impression, but perhaps they should have been more careful.
It's very pretty, by the way, and the Dead Sea was stunning, the mountains on the other side rising up out of the clouds.
First thing they did was Set Boundaries. "This is a safe space," they said. That means no making people uncomfortable. That's cool. Then they said "If you don't participate, one person can ruin the group dynamic, so no smartass comments." Okay, I'm prepared to keep back my usual commentary, and try to make a go of this. Then they said "Some things you may not be comfortable with. If you're not comfortable, fake it."
This gave me the message "If you can't do this, we don't want you here, so you'd better pretend to be someone else, because you're not welcome".
And it was very, very touchy-feely. Unfortunately, this is not the kind of thing I can do genuinely without a lot of support. And there wasn't any support, only the Boundary that I'd better not let on that I wasn't part of the group dynamic, and I'd better fake it so as not to spoil it for everyone else. Unfortunately, this is the kind of thing I don't know how to fake, except in a noticeably cynical way.
So by lunchtime I'd well and truly got the message that I wasn't part of the community, and since I a) wasn't capable of faking it and b) didn't see the point ot doing a community-building exercise whilst pretending to be someone else anyway, I came home on the next car that left. To be fair, I don't think they meant to give that impression, but perhaps they should have been more careful.