Three-day festival coming up, and that means a lot of time in shul, so you can spend your time doing research for the Etz Hayim Olympics.

Categories so far:
"Have you ever actually read the Torah?"
"Cheap Shots"
"Do you know what pshat even means?"

and any others you can think of; parallel categories for other chumash commentaries, of course, since not all of us are blessed with Etz Hayim. No mocking the mediaevals, but Artscroll's interpretations of the mediaevals are fair game provided you can demonstrate that the risible bit is Artscroll.
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